Calling in sick--this is hilarious!

Cat Lover or Not, this is Hysterical! We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'

'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'

'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'

There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?' If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

poop...

go here http://www.ichilly.com/?p=518 and see what Chilly Chilton who pastors Real Church in Hamtramck, MI...Chilly wrote about poop, saying poop=sin

after reading Chilly's post this story relates...last night I was mowing the yard and Finn, my bulldog was getting just a bit too far away a couple of doors down...went to get him, picked him up and...well you know bulldogs have these like square butts and when they poop every once in a while it doesn't all fall therefore it sticks like a glob to their butt...anyway, I proceeded to pick up this 50 pounder to carry him toward the house and felt this smoosh...oh crap, no pun intended but I then realized that he had poop stuck to his butt which was now smeared on my forearm...gross! found a napkin and wiped it off...got home and used the soap and water...I wanted it off!...not until I read what Chilly shared did I equate my sin with this *@#% or poop...hopefully, this will cause me to look at sin differently and have a greater desire to live a pure life that is pleasing to my Savior...thanks Chilly for getting my attention...guess I should thank my bulldog too!...

off to Southern California...

...Susie and I headed out last Wednesday with our 18 year old and youngest son to SW Oklahoma where he was meeting up with two others, to drive out as he moves to Southern California...tough to say the least...however, the purpose of this note is to mention my other children and how they were concerned about their brother who they fight with, may not talk to alot, and sometimes even argue with and get mad at....they certainly asked about Kramer but two of them blessed me...I was certainly touched as I walked into the kitchen the morning we were leaving...saw a note there with his name on it that one of his sbilings had written...assuming it was from his younger sister, when I asked him about it he said it was from Cooper, our 21 year old son...needless to say my heart was pleased (with a few tears) that Cooper had taken the time to write and share with Kramer his heart...don't know what it said but I know it was kind and thoughtful...our 17 year old then called to see if we had left...she was crying and ended up coming back home from school to say goodbye...tough on her as well...we miss having him around the house...on the other hand we are proud of Kramer, we know that he will do well, make wise decisions, and have fun...better do it now because as you get older and have more responsibility it is more diffcult to just go and do...we will go out in a month or so and see what he is up to....a bit more difficult to let Kramer go as there seems to be somewhat more of a finality to his moving, not the same as sending one to college knowing they will be back in the summer...Kramer is probably our most sensitive child, takes our hearts with his humor and joking around...glad that he is confident and secure that he can take this step of faith and move 1300 miles from home....we hope he does his laundry...

FCA at the house!

last Wednesday night we had the Jenks High School FCA at the house...Quincy is an officer in FCA and had asked if she could have FCA at the house, they have a gathering every week during the school year...of course she said, they would be outside and would only need to come inside to use the restroom...no problem, just no horseplay and you cannot be throwing people in the pool, do not put the trampoline by the pool and try to, well you know plus do not try to get 38 people in the hot tub...anyway, we have been out on Wednesday nights and by chance a few times in the last few years have driven by the location where FCA is held and the cars are parked for several blocks...anyway, we were expecting 75 to 100 high school students...then what happens it rains...Dad, "is it okay if we have it inside." "what?" "there won't be that many kids there." "okay, I guess"...if you have been to our neighborhood you know the streets are pretty narrow and you cannot park on both sides of the street or you run the risk of someone hitting your vehicle trying to navigate through and there is certainly no way that an emergency vehicle could get through...Wednesday night is here, where do I find myself?...outside in the drizzle, directing traffic... "you cannot park there, everybody has to park on this side" "straight in there please" when I said this, what did I hear? "yes sir" "thank you" "not a problem" got everybody parked then I headed toward the house...walked in the door, what did I see? shoes and more shoes as you see in the picture...what did I hear, approximately 80 students in our living room and kitchen sitting then standing shoulder to shoulder (picture to the left) with very little room to move...they had moved a couple of pieces of furniture out...as they stood I heard a mix of voices singing praise songs that literally almost brought me to tears...I was touched and blessed!...one of those WOW moments, it was sweet...then Andrew Money from Tulsa K-Life shared for about 15 minutes encouraging these 15 to 18 year olds to fall in love with Jesus...they were quiet and attentive...good times...I did not hear any complaining, negative comments, or any foul language...as they left, they thanked us and were very polite...I saw a group of students that as a bystander I was proud of, as a parent I glowed, and as a believer they touched my heart...thanks Jenks FCA students, you blessed my wife and I..we are proud that Quincy is involved with FCA, surrounded by many who will grow to be great leaders of tomorrow...Jenks FCA..you are welcome back to our home anytime, and yes, you can come inside...we already knew it as many of these kids and others have always been welcome in our home...but Jenks High School has halls full of great students....parents, teachers, and administrators alike should be proud...I am!

up to a buck eighty

yep...a week ago Satuday running with Lucy and chasing Susie...after we finished, Lucy, my 4-legged girl friend and I were walking across Riverside to Starbucks and I found the most mangled, bent penny that I have ever picked up...$1.70 now...then last Friday, Derrick and I were running east on 91st between Mingo & 169 and I found a dime (easier to find coins when you are running in the middle of the street, some call it the turn lane..we think it is a running path), I was grateful that Derrick got up early and ran with me on his day off...I appreciate him...now sitting at $1.80...I need someone to drop some paper so I can get this number up a bit higher...before I started keeping track of the running coins I did find a five dollar bill in the middle of the trail just off of Riverside under a bridge a couple of years ago as I ran...a five dollar bill at the car wash at about 80th & Memorial, IMO best car wash in town...one thing I do is, walk through and look for coins that have been left accidentally above the coin drops, I know I am cheap but I do it and have found quite a few coins, mostly quarters at various car washes...and yes I pick up pennies, especially near the vaccums...again, at the car wash at 8oth & Memorial here in Tulsa quarters will often be dropped in the drain that runs the length of the car wash but they will get stopped up on dirt or debris that is visible through the grate...FYI, you can lift these grates off and get the coins...yes, I lift the grates and get me a quarter(s) then replace the grate...have not figured out how to do this without getting my jeans wet on the knee...go ahead, laugh at me I can take it...

'never count God out' (copied)

copied from Kristian Stanfill, worship leader from the Atlanta area, "Jesus Paid It All" and "Marvelous Light" are two excellent worship songs he has done...even though his blog isn't updated often I enjoy the read...

what is this place?!!?
August 16, 2008
About half way through our summer a friend of mine called me and left me this message, “kristian, never count God out.” he said some other stuff too, but these words leapt out at me and stuck deep in my soul. i couldn’t shake them. what was it about those words that kept chasing me down? i realize now the reason i couldn’t shake my friend’s warning was because i was in fact counting God out. the beauty of it all is that it was in those times, when i had counted God out, that He made Himself known the most. just when i thought all was lost and that we might as well pack it up and call it quits cause nothing good was going to come from all this, we got more than we ever dreamed of.
a lot of this summer felt like i was being blindfolded, thrown into the back of a car and driven to a remote location a long way from anybody or anything that was familiar. i was scared to death to be in this new place. a place where all comfortability and predictability went out the window. i didn’t know which way to walk or what to do. i felt alone. until i stopped pitching a fit and realized who i was with. i wasn’t alone and in fact i was with the One who loved and knew me the best. God was there, and He began inspiring me and leading me to new places that i could never have made it to on my own. i had a closer, more intimate relationship with God than ever before. He spoke…i listened. He led…i followed. it was that simple. it IS that simple.
this all didn’t happen because i’m sooooo spiritual or because i take 1000mg of holiness pills everyday. this happened because God knew i was becoming a complacent follower and i needed to be shaken a little. i was becoming a revelation 3:15-16 Christian…lukewarm and in need of nothing. my proud heart of stone needed breaking and my white knuckled grip on the world around me needed to be loosened. the truth is, my heart is still breaking and becoming tender. the process isn’t over yet. even tonight as i write this post my heart is troubled because so much of what i have depended on for so long is crumbling. the days of depending solely on my gifts as a musician and worship leader are coming to an end. Leading worship and living the Christian life is less about singing and going to vacation bible school and more about complete dependence on God. The next season of my life is on the horizon and it’s all about dependence. God is teaching me that in every part of life…Him. that’s it. i need nothing else. we need nothing else.
this is really all there is to say about this past summer. i had planned on going through and sharing some details about what went down and how God changed my life forever, but i’m not going to do that. Simply…this summer was the summer that God cut a gaping hole in my “bag of tricks” and one by one they fell out until i had nothing left to rely on but His Holy Spirit and the truth that i profess to live for. i feel exposed and naked, but in beautiful, intimate fellowship with my creator.

for you Okies I believe he led worship at Falls Creek one week this summer...

up to $1.69...

Saturday, Derrick and I ran from 101st & Delaware across the Jenks pedestrian bridge around by the Aquarium back through downtown Jenks...found 5 pennies...4 of them thanks to a detail shop dumping their vaccum near the street...

found a penny....

running coin change update, up to a $1.64....found a penny this morning in the parking lot at 96th & Garnet...failed to update that I had found 3 cents and another penny over the last couple of weeks...hope to keep adding to this number if my knee will behave....

Good! makes me think..

"what you draw people with is what you draw people to."

saw this comment on Twitter from @worshiptechie